somewhere in the middle 1

…the sun was rising
the room was covered in silence
fear kept me choked
and i was afraid of the day
the sun was rising
the rays were slicing through the ugly curtains across your cheeks
cutting across your lips and eyes
the sun was rising
and we were laying there
and i was looking at you
refusing the uprising pain
because you weren’t shy about watching me
the sun was rising
and i had to fight
to squeeze my eyes closed
to keep your love away
because your love wouldn’t let me breathe
but yesterday
yesterday
you were pulling away
and everything was changing
my lungs could expand
my eyes widened
living didn’t seem so far away
and with an aching heart
i didn’t know how to tell you
how good it felt to breathe
and i needed you to know that
but the sun was rising
and falling dust was clogging my throat
and all i wanted was to breathe
all i wanted was the moon back
just for a little while
i promise
only a little while
i needed darkness to descend
to forgive the oncoming pain
to remember yesterday
to show promise of tomorrow
i needed the moon back
and star speckled skies
and midnight winds
i needed the moon back
because somehow
when the moon was here
and the stars
so were the smiles
and late night giggles
so were the tangling of limbs
and grazing of fingertips
so were the mingled breaths
and tired whispers
so were the little clouds of doubt…

Poem 5

Head Up, Girl

 

Oh, babe,
I was head over heels
head over heels
bent backward
arms out for you
head back
sacrificed for you
and you waited
waited until I uncurled my body
stood up straight
relaxed my shoulders
planted my feet
lifted my chin
and showed you nothing but the sharpest of side eyes
to crawl to me
mercy singeing your tongue
asking me to love you again
because something otherworldly only graced your life once.

Update 2

Hey

So I’ve thought a lot about this blog in my two-month absence from posting on here. I’ve had a lot to think about really. Even though I’m out of school for the summer, I recently had to take a long look at myself and figure out the reason I still write. Why is it that writing still sits above anything else when I don’t write as often as the world says I should. The world says, to be a writer, I should write every day. My mind just doesn’t work like that–and neither do my fingers.

I started painting and using writing in a different form. Instead of writing poetry, I have been practicing my calligraphy skills. I started writing cards for special occasions, and painting canvases for people. Really this became a pleasant distraction from writing “somewhere in the middle'” and stories with real characters.

So, I’m revamping this blog a little bit, in the hopes that I continue to inspire myself. Besides, change is good, right? 

New writings will be posted soon, including previews of “somewhere in the middle”.

***For ANYONE interested, my school’s poetry club, The Lighthouse Collective, is putting together a publication of art. We’re looking for art of all kinds. Feel free to submit any photographs, drawings, poems, short stories, or questions to the following emails: aquiawrites@gmail.com, dbrockee10@gmail.com.

The last day for submissions will be the end of July 2017. Spread the word to get some of your work published along with other artists.

Also for anyone that has enjoyed reading “the ending”, I will leave a link on the “Unexpected Trilogy” page where you can read the story in its entirety for FREE instead of searching for each part on this site.

Thanks for sticking around.

Poem 4

Untitled

I waited for you
oh, I waited
clasped my hands together
got down on my knees
prayed for you
held my breath
cried for you
oh, I begged for you
and you looked at me
tilted your head
and even took a second glance
and I was still there
smile quivering for you
bones shaking for you
heart aching for you
eyes burning for you
hands anxious, white-knuckled for you
and you turned away
wrapped your hands around her waist
kissed the crook of her neck
whispered in her ear
drained the light out of my eyes
put the sparkle in hers
blew out my candle
lit her fire
left your footprint as a reminder
and I stayed for you
glimmer of hope as you looked over your shoulder
but seasons passed
and when winter came
I unclenched my hands
and stood
just as part of your bed was getting a little less warm
oh how I waited
and got back on my knees.

Feature 3

Naomie W

naomiesthoughts.wordpress.com

Daydreaming

You in particular
You had that affect on me
So amazing I thought
Finally you’d run to me
Arms opened
Heart racing
Time moving slowly
Living in the moment
Heart smiling
Heart aching
For you
Years it took
But you saw me
Vulnerable was never me
But you
You had that affect on me
You made me want to love
Open my heart
Give you whatever I had to offer
Give you the love I had always wanted
Truly something special I thought
God sent
Priceless
Happiest I’d ever been
You made me hopeful
Positive
Happy
You in particular
You had that affect on me
Then reality set in.

Feature 2

@Dualityj

I feel like I can stop a storm with a whisper
calm a volcano with my pulse
stand on the wave of the ocean and count the clouds
walk across the sun for fun
catch a bullet with a stare.

You make me feel invincible
and to love you I dare.

Feature 1

@Dualityj

I met a flame at a quarter of age and instead of burning my flesh
she lit the way and became the sun of my day
the stars in my night and she told me I was like the moon
that I shined so bright and helped her set what was right
I call her my little night light and she told me I give her butterflies the gift of flight.

Poem 3

Untitled

You ever wonder who touched the pages
ran their fingers over the edges
before you

Who smelled the musk it held
and still promised to give it a chance

You ever run your hands along the bind
lifted bookmarked pages
played that one game
and reminded yourself to look for those later
because you somehow knew those were signs

And you always remembered those

Update 1

 Hi!

How ya doing?

Good?

Great! I’m glad you’re doing well.

If you’re not doing so great, I hope your day gets better. Here’s a joke to start…

How does a train eat?

It goes chew chew!

I feel like there are a ton of questions I should answer. I also don’t know how to write this update, seeing as I’m probably mostly talking to myself. If those of you who follow my blog are reading this, HELLO FRIEND, thank you! You make me feel a little less alone here.

Anyway, where have I been? The short answer is around. Truthfully, I am constantly thinking of ideas on what to write and how to write it. The plan for this blog was just to share my writing–particularly, the ending. I fell in love with that piece and was determined to get as many people as possible just to read it–for free. I fell in love with those characters and their story so much that I decided to turn that story into a trilogy. Which brings me to the next question, what have I been doing in the time that I haven’t posted on the blog?

The short answer is thinking. I wanted to find a way to make the blog more interesting, and more interactive. I’d love to have conversations here about my writing. Read your thoughts and opinions on it, hint hint. So in the month that I haven’t been posting, I have been working on somewhere in the middle (the second story in the Unexpected Trilogy), writing a little more, going to class, and turning the ending into a script.

Soooo, what’s the plan? The point of this update?

To tell all of you who follow the blog, thank you! I hope you’re enjoying what you’ve read so far. I will be posting more frequently; I promise! I’ll be sharing writings of my own, and featuring writings from @Dualityj, Naomiesthoughts.wordpress.com, and others. Be on the look out for somewhere in the middle. I will start posts for that story soon. Let’s interact more! You can email me your thoughts on anything here at aquiawrites@gmail.com, and/or leave a comment.

To end on a note that’s less than awkward…

What did the buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?

Bison.

the ending ~finale~

…you laid with me
let me rest my head on your chest
your fingers massaged my scalp
you laid with me
and i listened to the beating of your heart
felt the rise and fall of your chest
whispered into the night
told you i was sorry
that i just wanted you to understand
and you whispered back to me
voice raspy
tired
but the small smile was still there
and your fingers trailed down my arm
and i swore i could hear the goosebumps come to life
felt the hair stand up
and said
that you couldn’t be my happiness
not on your own
said that you couldn’t be responsible
that it was up to me
and i tried to tell you
that
that wasn’t the case here
that i could never be happy on my own
that i needed you
and i was too scared of you leaving
and you told me
that
that wasn’t how happiness worked
that at some point
you’d be gone away from here
no more present
no more future
taken away
because that’s what life was
and i cried
because i understood
and i never wanted that day to come
and you said the same
said that
that day could stay away as long as i was there
and i asked was that the same thing
and i heard your deep breath
heard it echo behind your heartbeat
felt that ache in my chest
rough
and loud
and haunting
felt that shaking of your head
and my voice was choked
tied too tight across my insecurities
and whispered goodnight.